Do you blame your past, your family, your partner, your job, your circumstances or a host of other things for your unfortunate place in life. If so then, by definition, you are choosing to identify yourself as a victim. Now I know that being a victim feels awful but what I'm going to say next may help you reconsider making such a choice. Choice? Yes choice! That is beacuse that's exactly what your making. Let me explain. What is the purpose of believing yourself to be a victim? You might say that there is no purpose. It's just a fact, right? Well, please, if you will choose to read on, consider the following argument and see if it applies to you. One purpose of identifying one's self as victim is so that: 1) One can blame someone or something else for one's situation, so that, 2) One can feel relieved of any blame or responsibility for their situation, so that, 3) One can feel better about themselves i.e. more relaxed, calmer, more self accepting, greater self worth, and greater self esteem. So in summary: (A) Identifying one's self as a victim helps them feel more relaxed,calmer, more self accepting, greater self worth and greater self esteem. Now re-read statement (A) and decide for yourself whether it sounds like a rational or reasonable statement to you. In order to help you you may wish to recall the last time you felt like a victim. You probably felt some or all of the following: hurt, anger, fear, diminshed, shame, weak, powerless, helpless etc. Now in this last description of feeling like a victim did you feel anything like: relaxed,calmer, more self accepting, greater self worth and greater self esteem? Not likely. Hence, even though you may have agreed with the logic that led to statement (A) it appears that the conclusion, statement (A) itself is not feeling true to you is it? Well that's because it isn't! If you recognize this small fact then you may wish to acknowledge this to yourself right now. Once you've done that notice how you feel inside. If you've followed me so far you may be feeling some or all of the following: a sense of relief, more relaxed, more hopeful , stronger, more confident, lighter, more expansive, happier. and a greater sense of self worth. If this feels good to you then you may wish to acknowledge that to yourself and then again notice how you feel. If all of this surprizes you and you want to know more then you may wish to visit the web site below in my bio. |
