Integrating my dark side was a fairly torturous process for me, partly because I made it harder than it had to be. Apparently I do that a lot. :) One of the problems at the time was my inability to get out of my own way and I continually tried to micro-manage the process rather than giving in to it and going where it wanted to take me. Part of that was from my own misconceptions about the light and dark and my reactions to them. Many of us spend a long time trying to suppress the various elements of our light and dark sides partially because we're taught to believe that light is good and dark is evil as if the 2 extremes didn't exist in all of us. For example, a lot of healers tend to shy away from the dark side and when it does manifest it's usually in some context that the healer may be shocked by or ashamed of. Thereafter the healer may have a negative connotation with the dark side of their being. Sometimes these connotations can come from events that happen when we're small children or even possibly be hold-overs from past lives. It's important to find examples of the dark and light that can be manifested positively and enjoyably as everything has to balance and its unnatural for us to always be one or the other. Music, dance, theatre, movies, martial arts and sexuality are some of the ways that you can find positive examples of both the dark and the light. In reality you can find positive examples anywhere, these are some that I personally enjoy. This is where the self awareness part of kundalini awakening comes in. You have to know yourself well enough to become comfortable with all the aspects of your personality, and to find creative ways to balance your proclivities. If you spend all day giving reiki treatments and listening to soothing new age music then take some time in the evening and pop in a suitably dark movie or some nice dark music on the stereo. If you choose the music then turn off the lights, close your eyes and do some moving meditation and ecstatic dancing. You might be surprised at what youre able to clean out of your system this way. Whats important here is to learn to be comfortable with your dualities, and then get beyond them. This can be a journey of self discovery that can take you places that you didnt know you could go. |
